Hurt
by themarchgirl
Summary: You're crying and she's crying and the end of your world is looming closer every second. Creddie, sort of.


**A/N: **I know I should be working on A Chance At Romance but this idea would not leave me alone. I hope y'all like it.

It's been three months since you saw her and three months and a day since you kissed her. Somehow she got it into her beautiful little head of hers that you had sex with someone else and you were planning on never telling her and that you were going to leave her anyway.

You remember that you came to drop off your mom and so you decided to visit and you knocked on the door and she opened it and saw it was you and then nearly slammed it in your face. By nearly you mean that you managed to keep it open and force yourself into her apartment before she could tell you to go away.

And then she screamed at you, and she cried and kicked and tried to punch you but her attempts were feeble and she was so upset that she didn't have the energy or willpower to put anything behind one.

You were so shocked. And it hurt, really hurt to think that she actually thought you'd do something like that. And so you yelled too. It was one huge argument, the first you'd ever had and you hated it. You hated that she was angry and she was upset and part of you wanted to pull her into your arms and kiss the pain away but the other part was too furious to even think about that. You hated that you'd done something wrong, and this was your biggest fear. You were always so worried that you'd do something wrong and she'd leave you.

And she did. She dumped you and threw you out and you started crying and you stayed the night at your mom's because you were too upset to go home to your apartment in the town centre. The next day you did go home, and you drank red wine at every meal (apart from breakfast) for three weeks. Sometimes you cried yourself to sleep because you _missed_ her and you still loved her, even though you were still angry.

You buried yourself in your work and tried to never have any free time, because then you'd think about her, and then it would hurt. Once you picked up your phone and seriously considered texting her – like a really long text saying how sorry you were and that you'd never slept with anyone apart from her and you missed her and you loved her and you _needed_ her – but you decided to be a wuss and the phone was replaced in its special cover that stopped the screen getting dirty.

Sam came round once to beat you up, but she saw how miserable you were and so she didn't. She actually gave you a hug, and it felt weird, but it was kind of nice, because it was the first physical human contact since....that. She said she'd talk to Carly, but Carly was really upset still, so she wasn't sure how it was going to go.

And so you spent three months of your life in a shell, trying to live without Carly. You tried, honestly, you tried, but you couldn't. You would've, if you could've, but you couldn't, so you didn't. You kind of liked that sentence, because it got a lot of information into eleven words. It was random, but these things kept your mind off Carly.

And you gave up. You couldn't live without her, so here you are, standing outside her apartment, trying to pluck up the courage to knock on the door. This is it, you think, do it. Knock.

And you sigh and take your hand back. Coward.

'Freddie?' You whip round and see Spencer looking at you. 'What are you doing here?'

'Um,' you try to think of something to say. 'I wanted to see Carly.'

'Right.' Spencer slowly walks to the door. 'Listen, buddy – '

'I understand if you don't want me to see her,' you cut in. 'I know I hurt her. I just wanted to explain that I didn't sleep with someone else and I never wanted to leave her. Ever.' You take a deep breath. 'And I also wanted to know if she wants to get back together.'

Spencer unlocks the door. 'Come in,' he murmurs. You grin.

'Thanks, Spencer.' You say, going in after him.

The apartment is still the same. Carly still lives with Spencer, because they don't have enough money for Carly to buy one of her own, and to be honest neither wanted Carly to leave.

'Carly's not home yet.' Spencer tells you, taking off his jacket and hanging it on the coat-stand by the door.

'OK,' you reply, lowering yourself onto the couch. 'When will she be home?'

'Er, right about...' The door opens. '...now.'

You take a deep breath, and turn.

She is frozen in the doorway, her eyes wide, looking like she wants nothing more than to run back down the stairs to the lobby and round to Sam's.

'What are you doing here?' She asks, her expression suspicious now. 'Have you come to grovel for my forgiveness?'

'Uhm....yeah?' You say, fiddling with your collar.

Her expression is now murderous.

'Carly, I never slept with anyone.'

'Of course you didn't,' she hisses sarcastically. 'You're completely innocent.'

'I'm going to leave you two alone.' Spencer says, sliding out of the room. You barely notice.

'Carly, please, listen – '

'NO! I will not listen! You broke my heart! You slept with some girl from work and you were tired of me and so you decided to go and cheat!'

'Why would I ever do that?' You ask, stepping closer to her. 'Seriously, why would I ever get tired of you?'

'I-I...' She searches for an answer on the floor. 'Y-You had a pretty work colleague and she drew you in and you got tired of same-old Carly.'

You raise an eyebrow. 'Where did you get that from?'

'Stacey told me! She said she saw you with someone from work and you looked like you were gonna do _that_ and then she said she overheard you saying you didn't want me anymore. And then I said well I wish you hadn't told me and that now everything was going to go wrong.'

'And it did!' You shout. 'You believed her and that's why our relationship fell apart!'

Your faces are so close now that you can feel her breath on your chin. You want to kiss her. You want to put your arms around her and kiss her to within an inch of her life.

And you very nearly do. Your arms make to go round her but she jumps out of them, her face like thunder.

'Don't try and win me back with kissing, Benson.'

'I wasn't going to. I was hoping it would help, though.' You grin at her and her eyes narrow.

'Well, now I still can't believe you left and didn't talk to me for three months.' She says finally, turning away from you.

'I was angry too,' you admit. 'I was angry that you thought I'd do something like that. That you had so little trust in me.'

'You're never angry for that long,' she persists. 'You got sick of me.'

'I was scared.'

'Scared of what?'

'You not believing me. You saying you don't love me and you never wanting to see me again.'

'Wimp.'

Normally that wouldn't hurt, but now it does. You sigh, trying to hide the tears that are pricking in your eyes. She glances at you, her eyelashes wet and her arms folded so tight you wonder if they're ever going to come undone.

'I missed you,' you say finally. 'I missed you like hell.'

Carly shrugs and fingers Spencer's old lamp that only turns on when you say lamp like a mad Japanese person.

'I needed you.' You go on. 'I was hurting too. I hated that I'd done something wrong.'

Carly doesn't say anything.

'I worry so much all the time that I'll do something and you'll never forgive me for it. That's my biggest fear.' You explain, looking at the back of her head.

'I got a new boyfriend.'

OK, calling you a wimp hurt, but this....this is just agony.

'Huh?' you manage to say without your voice breaking and with it your composure.

'I'm going out with somebody else.' She repeats, still not turning to face you.

A single tear trickles down your face. You wipe it away angrily, willing your eyes to let no more fall.

'Is it serious?' You whisper.

'I love him,' she replies. Damn it, she still won't look at you. And damn it again, the tears are falling thick and fast down your face. 'Sometimes I think I might want to marry him.'

Oh, God, please no.

'Carly, _please_,' you choke out, barely able to breathe. She stiffens, finally realising that you're crying.

'Look at me,' you mumble. 'Please, I need to see your face. Then you can tell me that you love him.'

She swallows and turns slowly to face you.

Her eyes are swollen and red and she's crying too. Her mascara is running and her hair is a mess and she looks so small.

'I love him.' She whispers.

You're crying and she's crying and you can see the end of your world looming closer with every second.

'If that's what you want.' You stutter out. She nods.

'Just know that I'll always love you.' You say. You bend and kiss her one last time.

It's warm and sweet and it tastes like the strawberry chewing gum you know is her favourite. She doesn't kiss you back.

You pull away and stalk out.

This is the end.

**A/N:** I feel so mean. I don't like non-happy endings. Tell me what you think. By the way, this is in no way related to Ultraviolet or Run Away. Please review, you lot. You're a lovely bunch, I know.


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